It is better to be interested then interesting

The big problem is poor communication skills. There is a moment in every conversation when everyone just goes quiet. And it feels awkward. In my case even when talking to friends, quiet moments feel awkward. And this is even worse when talking to people I just met. Quoting Pulp Fiction:

"Don't you hate that? Uncomfortable silence. Why do we feel it's necessary to talk about bull in order to feel comfortable? That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the hell up for a minute and comfortably share a silence."

I love the idea. But it is not so easy to make the silence comfortable.

I found a cool video about leading the conversation. Yeah, it from PUA community. I agree, PUA's ideas are often creepy. I studied some PUA material some months age. I read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. It's very interesting, but PUA methods just don't feel right. I could feel something there is fake, those approaches, feeling between those guys and the girls were not genuine. I read only first chapter of "Mistery method". 

On the other hand I found more genuine approach in Gambler's (Wayne Elise) book. I really like the book, but the book is not enough for me. I saw some Keiza Noble videos and read the book. Not bad, but not essential either. I saw some Liam McRae videos. I like the guy, I like his confidence and his energy. But I don't think I want to follow the path he is showing. 

I really like video I found today:

It is pretty basic, yet seems very convincing. 

Who is the most important person in court? The judge. Why, he just sits there and listens? But he allows other to speak and he has the last word. He is the one who gives the right to speak to others. Others are giving performance: lawyers, attorneys, witnesses, accused ... but everyone listens to what judge have to say, he validates their stories.

A little like in conversation. The one who validates, encourages and gives the opinions is the most important. Not the one with the best/funniest/most convincing stories.

Lesson to take home: 

- be the one to start the conversation.

- don't be afraid of silent moments. It's not just one person's job to continue the conversation. Let others do their part of the conversation effort.

- instead of thinking what to say next, focus more on the conversation.

Time to go sleep. And in the morning go for a week of holiday =]

Will see what I am going to learn.

First

Let me tell you a story. There is this guy. Lets call him Mr. Green. He is not a bad guy. Actually, he is a pretty cool guy. He has a nice job and he did some cool stuff in his live. But he has a problem. His problem is that he is a nice guy. The Nice Guy. Bland, Forgettable, Replaceable. He knows whole bunch of people. But the problem is they have chosen to be his friends, he didn't pick them. He knows some cool girls. He was in some more or less serious relationships. But the girls have chosen him, he didn't pick up those girls. It is not him, who does the first step. He knows how to handle situations, when the relationship with friends/girlfriends is going on. But he does not lead. He does not know how to start, he does not know how to be a leader, be the strong one. Let me tell you a story of how Mr. Green is tying to change his live, to chose what he wants and his way to be a cool cat.